Archive for category Fun
Wooties: Gamer’s Love
My Love Ode
Woot Shirt, Gamer’s Love
Let me tell you how much I love you:
We are like two battle toads. Together we fight our way through the bird-filled crater known as life.
We are like Ray Man’s various appendages. We are one with each other, even when there is distance between us.
We have each other’s backs, like Billy and Jimmy Lee of Double Dragon. Except we’re not related. That would be weird.
Your kisses are like the bombs of Bomberman. They are precise, yet far-reaching, and explosive.
You are to me, a Metal Slug. I will always think you’re great, despite your violent nature and jingoistic way of looking at the world.
I am Ecco the Dolphin and you are my first level. I will never, ever leave you.
Wear this shirt: when you’re about to unleash a sexy a-b-up-down combo.
Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re afraid to commit.
This shirt tells the world: “My baby’s made of pixels.”
We call this color: I shall carve thy name in slate!
Wooties: They See Me Rollin’
I’m just trying to help you out, man.
If you want to act all hood, you should expect to get called on it.
YO SON, WUS POPPIN’?
“Oh, hey Teddy. What’s up, man?”
“Hey man. How’s it goin’ Teddy?”
Woot Shirt, They See Me Rollin
YO DAWG, I KNOW I DUN’ TOLD U BEFORE, I AIN’T NO NOBODY NAMED TEDDY.
“Teddy, I’ve been your friend since we were hatchlings. I’m not calling you ‘T-Blade.’”
YOU MUST BE FRONTIN’, SON! WHY YOU GOTTA DIS ME LIKE THAT? T-BLADE IS HOW I ROLL, DAWG!
“No it’s not. A week ago you were T-Blood. Before that you were The Great Turtlino. You have a new, stupid ‘gangster’ name more often than you shower.”
“To be honest they’re hard to keep up with.”
WELL TO BE HONEST I’VE BEEN THINKIN’ OF CHANGIN’ MY BRAND ANYWAY, U KNO GOT TO KEEP IT FRESH. LIKE DIDDY.
“Yeah, man. You need something that plays up your roots. You’re a turtle, after all.”
“Yeah, you gotta rep that turtle pride. Like Jenny from the Block, y’know.”
TRUE DAT, TRUE DAT. BUT I NEED FOOLS TO KNO I’M THE ILLEST TURTLE IN THE SWAMP, U KNO?
“Totally. You should have something tough in there too, like ‘Turtle Murder.’”
I LIKE THA SOUND O’ THAT.
“Or, or, what if you COMBINE them?”
TURTLE AND MURDER?
“Yeah.”
SO, LIKE, TURDER?
snicker “Yeah. Yeah man, that’s PERFECT!”
“Oh god, yes. Yes, that is exactly what he said. Perfect.”
YEAH, U GUYS ARE RIGHT. MAD PROPS, HOMEYS. I GOT TO SPREAD THE WORD, DAWG! LOOK OUT SWAMP, THE TURDER’S COMING THROUGH!
“Maybe say you’re peekin’ your head out. Makes you sound gangster, like you’re sneaking in the night and robbing people.”
YEAH. YEAH, I DIG IT. BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOOLS, U NEVER KNO WHEN THE TURDER’S PEEKIN’ HIS HEAD OUT!
“I have to record this.”
Wear this shirt: While rolling down a hill. Rolling down hills is fun!
Don’t wear this shirt: To your gang initiation. Don’t join a gang at all, but if you do you probably won’t be taken seriously with a turtle shirt.
This shirt tells the world: “Yeah, okay, so I don’t roll so good. So sue me.”
We call this color: You one ignorant grass turtle.
Wooties: Trouble at the Banana Stand
Now the story of a wealthy family…
Woot Shirt, Trouble At the Banana Stand
Andrew Ridgeley Bluth had volunteered for extra shifts at the family banana stand under the pretense of picking up some extra money. In truth, he was hoping to avoid his cousin, Possibly, and his feelings for her. Unbeknownst to him, Gob had procured the services of seven chimpanzees trained in the art of Ninjitsu for his magic act.
“Gah!”
What he didn’t know was that Possibly had taken a taxi down to the banana stand specifically to discuss her feelings for him.
“Possibly!”
“Oh my god, Andrew Ridgeley! Are you okay?”
“Yeah! Well, no, uh, I mean, probably, but, well, could you call the police? Or something?”
Just then Jebediah, who happened to be sunning himself in a ridiculous pink thong in the hopes of avoiding tan lines for an upcoming audition, stumbled unwittingly into the crowd of nunchaku-wielding simians.
“Aaagh! Andrew Ridgeley, get over here and spank my monkey!”
“Uh…what?”
“Oh, I apologize. I shouldn’t have said that; how inappropriate! I meant to say, ‘get over here and spank my ape.’ Jebediah you’re a doctor, you should know the difference between these things!”
“That’s not really what I was asking abou-”
“Andrew Ridgeley, I have hold of this flailing monkey and the only way it will ever learn not to attack people is if you deliver a little corporal punishment. Now come spank this monkey!”
Wear this shirt: To your Pop-Pop’s arraignment.
Don’t wear this shirt: To your meeting with Kitty Sanchez. You’ll be overdressed.
This shirt tells the world: “I’m holding out for the movie!”
We call this color: Prematurely-Cancelled Cranberry
Wooties: Van Diagram
Rockin’ = Not Knockin’
Woot Shirt, Van Diagram
There’s a time in every person’s life when they must decide for themselves which way to go.
Will they choose the route of the child, forever wide-eyed and innocent? The child can never truly become cynical, after all, and meets each day with a magical joy. The child can travel in a box with ease, for a box is the transport of the imagination! With paint and with an airbrush, the child can dream up a world of wizards and dragons and mostly women fighting barbarians on the moon and then paint it on the blank canvas that the box signifies. The path of the child is one of dreams and glory!
Or will they choose the path of the adult? The adult needs a car to get from place to place, since time is of the essence. He needs the room to hold important papers, and a good sound system to keep track of the latest music, and maybe even a big backseat for naps and gettin’ lucky. The car is a sign that the adult can do as he pleases whenever he pleases, maybe even at full speed!
There are two paths and no more. Every person must decide for themselves what… what… what is that majestic creature over there? It’s doing 75, but has a painting of a naked unicorn on the side! I… I must have it! I must! Do you hear, world? There is a better way! There is a better way!
Wear this shirt: on Vanic Monday. Hey, stop groaning, it’s our I-don’t-have-to-run-day.
Don’t wear this shirt: backwards. It won’t be as funny if everyone thinks you’re just talking about boxcars.
This shirt tells the world: “You Probably Think This Shirt Is About You. Don’t You? Don’t You? Don’t You?”
We call this color: ‘Cause Like A Princess She Was Layin’ There/Moonlight Dancin’ Off Her Hair/She Woke Up And Took Me By The Hand/We Made Love In My Chevy Van/And That’s All White With Me
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Oh come on, how can you not like this shirt? I think it’s all kinds of awesome.
I have nothing more to say about it.
Wooties: Trying to Sing
Woot Shirt, Trying To Sing
Crow in Control
Birds of a feather flock together.
Little known fact: the music industry is controlled by crows. It’s true. All the great singers, all the great song writers, all the great studio musicians, crows all of them. No, they don’t look like crows, but that’s all plastic surgery.
Think about it: haven’t you ever wondered why you always see up-and-coming recording artists picking through the trash on garbage day? Or how sometimes you’ll hear a crow squawk and it’ll seem perfectly in tune to the song on the radio? Or how there’s always feathers on stage after a big pop star performs? All makes sense now, doesn’t it?
It also explains what happened to the Counting Crows. They release one perfect album – August and Everything After – and then all but disappear? Sound odd to you? Well, it was because of their name! saying a little too much, and ruffling a few important feathers, if you will.
Wear this shirt: to the studio to lay down some tracks!
Don’t wear this shirt: around real crows during mating season.
This shirt tells the world: “I murder music.”
We call this color: concert cancelled due to asphalt-y wiring.
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This one is just tough to see given the dark background with the black bird, but that is probably the point. I thought that it originally was something to do with EAP and the Raven, but no, nothing like that. I wear it sometimes, but it’s not in common in the rotation.
Wooties: Trouble at the Banana Stand
Now the story of a wealthy family…
Woot Shirt, Trouble at the Banana Stand
Andrew Ridgeley Bluth had volunteered for extra shifts at the family banana stand under the pretense of picking up some extra money. In truth, he was hoping to avoid his cousin, Possibly, and his feelings for her. Unbeknownst to him, Gob had procured the services of seven chimpanzees trained in the art of Ninjitsu for his magic act.
“Gah!”
What he didn’t know was that Possibly had taken a taxi down to the banana stand specifically to discuss her feelings for him.
“Possibly!”
“Oh my god, Andrew Ridgeley! Are you okay?”
“Yeah! Well, no, uh, I mean, probably, but, well, could you call the police? Or something?”
Just then Jebediah, who happened to be sunning himself in a ridiculous pink thong in the hopes of avoiding tan lines for an upcoming audition, stumbled unwittingly into the crowd of nunchaku-wielding simians.
“Aaagh! Andrew Ridgeley, get over here and spank my monkey!”
“Uh…what?”
“Oh, I apologize. I shouldn’t have said that; how inappropriate! I meant to say, ‘get over here and spank my ape.’ Jebediah you’re a doctor, you should know the difference between these things!”
“That’s not really what I was asking abou-”
“Andrew Ridgeley, I have hold of this flailing monkey and the only way it will ever learn not to attack people is if you deliver a little corporal punishment. Now come spank this monkey!”
Wear this shirt: To your Pop-Pop’s arraignment.
Don’t wear this shirt: To your meeting with Kitty Sanchez. You’ll be overdressed.
This shirt tells the world: “I’m holding out for the movie!”
We call this color: Prematurely-Cancelled Cranberry
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Totally a random shirt that I had no idea what it was from at first, but then I learned. I hadn’t watched Arrested Development when I got it, and I didn’t even watch the show because of this shirt, it was the other A Rooster Development shirt that got me to watch the show so I would understand it a bit better. This was a total win though.
Plus, I know someone who owns a banana suit like that.
Wooties: A Rooster Development
Cock-A-Doodle-Shirt
Woot Shirt, A Rooster Development
6th Place in Derby #300: What makes me different, with 228 votes!
Everyone always talks about how much they like Arrested Development, but I don’t know how people can get past the repeated continuity error that occurs throughout the show. I am, of course, talking about the chicken dance.
The characters are dancing like chickens, they’re calling each other chickens, they’re even making noises like chickens, but they aren’t chickens! They’re human! What gives?
How am I supposed to follow this tale of a dysfunctional family? How am I supposed to get invested in their relationships? How am I supposed to care if they get burned by a Cornballer when there’s always this glaring error in the background?
Now, if only the characters were to be actual chickens (or roosters), that would be a lot more logical. They would be doing a chicken dance because they’re chickens. Finally, it would be a show that would make some sense. THAT would be something I could get behind.
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So, this was the shirt that got me to watch Arrested Development. I liked the look of the shirt, but I couldn’t bring myself to wear it if I didn’t know or understand the background of the shirt. It’s a win from my point of view.
Wooties: Bats!
Batshirt Crazy
Woot Shirt, Bats!
Hey! Who’s that flapping those membranous wings, on a nocturnal mission straight into our hearts? Bats! Armed with sonar, rabies, and possibly shape-shifting abilities, these flying guano-pumpers have found a new roost: right on your chest. Unlike the bats offered by other deal-a-day web sites, this fetching pair is guaranteed disease-free. They may bite you while you’re sleeping and slurp at the wound for nourishment, but what’s a little blood between mammals?
Designed by: Chicago artist, impostor, cartoonist, crank caller, musician, and blogger Derek Erdman, who also finds time to obsess over The Fall and officiate weddings, baptisms, and funerals.
Wear this shirt to: your Weight Watchers meetings, to let everyone else know about the hottest, healthiest low-fat alternative to beef – bat meat.
Don’t wear this shirt to: the northern Brazilian state of Maranhao, where bats bit over 1,000 people during a 2005 infestation, killing 23. The locals might not see the humor in it.
This shirt tells the world: “I dream of soaring through the air, wild and free, ingesting insects all the while.”
We call this color: Non-Coagulated Red.
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This is a weird shirt, but I like it. It’s simple, to the point and just is simple. Who doesn’t like bats anyway?
Wooties: Le Chat dans la Boite
Wöötinger’s Cat
Woot Shirt, Le Chat dans la Boite
We are all both alive and dead in the imagination of a doomed feline. Maybe.
The Schrödinger’s cat thought experiment postulates that, given the strange dynamics of quantum mechanics, a cat trapped in a box whose life depended on the decay of a certain radioactive substance can be considered both alive AND dead until the box is opened. Pretty mind-bending stuff, but we’re going to kick it up a notch with something we call the Wöötinger’s Cat hypothesis:
What if the universe we currently occupy is just a figment in the imagination of a cat that is trapped in a Schrödinger-like contraption? This hypothesis may remind some aged viewers of the popular 80s show St. Elsewhere, more specifically the “Tommy Westphall Universe Hypothesis” in which most popular media at the time existed in the imagination of the eponymous, autistic youngster.
We are all living in the snow globe! Except instead of a snow globe it’s something that a cat that both exists and doesn’t exist would be thinking about. Maybe a cat food bowl.
KABOOOOOOOM
Sorry, did you hear something? Oh it was just the simultaneously blowing of the Shirt.Woot audience’s collective mind? Excellent.
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I don’t totally get this one, I originally thought it was some sort of literary reference, but from what I can tell it’s all related to physics and quantum mechanics. It’s beyond me, but it doesn’t look terrible, I just happened to get a bunch of random shirts all related to cats in a short period of time. I think I was just a little unlucky.
Wooties: Cat Taco
Kitty Kitty Bang Bang
Woot Shirt, Taco Cat
Aw, mom, we’re having rigatoni pony again?
When you want a snack that’s also a pet, you don’t want to fill up with an enchilada llama or a tamale collie. You want a self-sufficient treat that requires minimal attention but still tastes delicious. You want a taco cat!
With a layer of questionable but fully cooked meat, tomatoes diced to hide the bad spots, and mostly washed lettuce, the taco cat is hearty yet streetsmart, fulfilling yet passionate, and best of all, doused in a fiery sauce that makes it impossible to taste a single subtle flavor. And did we mention that crunchy corn shell?
Don’t force yourself to keep struggling through an entire barbacoa boa or a little pile of empanada pandas. Get just the amount of pet you need with taco cat! Also available in blue corn or calico.
Wear this shirt: while putting on the ritz. That’s right, we went there.
Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re the sort of person who will point out it’s a palindrome every time you wear it. We don’t care, jerkface. Go home.
This shirt tells the world: “Hey, just wondering, but has anyone ever played the Meow Mix song over a latin beat?”
We call this color: Red Beans And Rice
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I bought this one because I thought it was cute, turns out it offends some people because of some slang interpretations that you can make from it. I didn’t see it right off the bat though, but I can see how it could be. I don’t wear it often, but I do like it.