Wooties: Van Diagram

Rockin’ = Not Knockin’

Woot Shirt, Van Diagram

Woot Shirt, Van Diagram

There’s a time in every person’s life when they must decide for themselves which way to go.

Will they choose the route of the child, forever wide-eyed and innocent? The child can never truly become cynical, after all, and meets each day with a magical joy. The child can travel in a box with ease, for a box is the transport of the imagination! With paint and with an airbrush, the child can dream up a world of wizards and dragons and mostly women fighting barbarians on the moon and then paint it on the blank canvas that the box signifies. The path of the child is one of dreams and glory!

Or will they choose the path of the adult? The adult needs a car to get from place to place, since time is of the essence. He needs the room to hold important papers, and a good sound system to keep track of the latest music, and maybe even a big backseat for naps and gettin’ lucky. The car is a sign that the adult can do as he pleases whenever he pleases, maybe even at full speed!

There are two paths and no more. Every person must decide for themselves what… what… what is that majestic creature over there? It’s doing 75, but has a painting of a naked unicorn on the side! I… I must have it! I must! Do you hear, world? There is a better way! There is a better way!

Wear this shirt: on Vanic Monday. Hey, stop groaning, it’s our I-don’t-have-to-run-day.

Don’t wear this shirt: backwards. It won’t be as funny if everyone thinks you’re just talking about boxcars.

This shirt tells the world: “You Probably Think This Shirt Is About You. Don’t You? Don’t You? Don’t You?”

We call this color: ‘Cause Like A Princess She Was Layin’ There/Moonlight Dancin’ Off Her Hair/She Woke Up And Took Me By The Hand/We Made Love In My Chevy Van/And That’s All White With Me


Oh come on, how can you not like this shirt? I think it’s all kinds of awesome.

I have nothing more to say about it.

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