Archive for category Fun
Wooties: No Face
Hack The Mainframe
Woot Shirt, NO!Face
It’s just like the movie “Hackers” but with hairballs
They said “How can a cat join an international hacking syndicate?” They thought that just because I lacked fingers (for typing), an advanced cognitive apparatus, and any formal software training that I couldn’t make it as an “Anonymous” hacker, but…
HACK HACK HACK … excuse me, I … HACK HACK. I seem to have something caught in my throa–HACKHACKHACKHACKGULPHACKHACKHACK.
What’s that? You want me to move off your rug? Don’t worry about it, I think I’m fine I just need to HACKHACKHACK ugh HACK.
What was I saying? Oh yeah! Nobody believed I could make it as a hacker…
Wooties: Soft Kitty
Meow
Woot Shirt, Soft Kitty
It’s from that thing!
Close cat-tioning for this episode of the Big Bang Theory is provided by the Society for Feline Literacy.
SHELDON: Meow, meow meow?
LEONARD: Meow.
SHELDON: Meow meow meow meow meow meow.
LEONARD: Meow! Meow meow meow meow meow meow!
SHELDON: Meow?
[Laughter]
PENNY: Meow, meow.
[Laughter]
SHELDON: Meow meow meow, meow?
LEONARD: Meow meow meow.
[Laughter]
PENNY: Meow meow? Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow! MEOW! MEOW!
LEONARD: Meow.
[Laughter]
PENNY: Meow meow meow meow?
SHELDON: Meow meow.
PENNY: MEOW?!?!!
SHELDON: Meowza.
[Laughter and Applause]
Wooties: Noooodles
Eating Habits
Woot Shirt, Nooodles
Noodle on this for a moment!
When broke college kids are hungry, they eat ramen noodles. But what do broke ramen noodles in college eat? Banana peels. Broke banana peels in college, meanwhile, eat dust mites. Broke dust mites eat ideas. That’s why it’s harder to think in dusty rooms.
Broke ideas in college eat paper. Broke pieces of paper in college eat rocks. Broke rocks in college eat scissors. Broke scissors in college eat paper. If you’re keeping score, that means broke pieces of paper in college have two predators. What we’re getting at it sucks to be broke and made of paper in college.
That was our whole point here. That it sucks to be paper. That was clear from the get-go, right?
Wooties: Geek Food
Kiddie Kibble
Woot Shirt. Geek Food
“Hello Mrs. Adams, how are you today?”
I’m fine, I’m fine, but I’m worried about my little creature.
“Let’s see … ‘Sam’ is this little guy’s name? That’s cute. What seems to be the problem with Sam?”
He hasn’t been eating his food, and it’s been several days now.
“Have you recently switched his diet? Sometimes they can be particular about those things.”
Well, yes, I did start feeding him wet food.
“That’s probably it. You need to introduce the new diet slowly, so his digestion can adapt to it.”
Oh thank goodness. I was worried he might have diabetes or something. I know so many indoor ones do.
“Well, from the look of him maybe it would be worth running some tests…”
UGH. STOP TALKING ABOUT ME IN THE THIRD PERSON, MOM. I’M RIGHT HERE.
Sorry, honey. I’m just trying to look out for you.
“Would you mind holding him down so he doesn’t scratch me, Mrs. Adams?”
Wooties: Online Debate Team
Spoilers!
Woot Shirt, Online Debate Team
It’s not what it looks like!
M. Night Shyamalan on today’s shirt:
So it looks like a normal athletic shirt, right? Typical font and layout. Just another Athletic Department shirt. Nothing special, right?
But wait! There’s a TWIST! It’s not a shirt for a SPORTS TEAM! It’s a shirt for a debate team!
That’s it, huh? Just a shirt that appears to be athletic, but is, in fact, for a debate team. Certainly, there are no additional layers here, correct?
INCORRECT! It is not a normal debate team shirt! It’s a shirt for an internet debate team!
But another twist: IT WAS A GHOST ALL ALONG!
Wear this shirt: into the internet!
Don’t wear this shirt: into the real world!
This shirt tells the world: “I have so many opinions, and I will fighter them… ineloquently.”
We call this color: KELLY GREEN IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN LEBRON! JUST LOOK AT THEIR STATS!
Wooties: Meow
Woot Shirt, Meow
Cats Cats Cats!
3rd Place in Derby #321: Text as Art, with 208 votes!
Buzzfood Lists: 11 Broken Images Of Cats You Wish You Could See!
1. This cat who totally thinks he’s a dog!
2. This cat who totally thinks his an iguana!
3. This cat who totally thinks he’s a social media intern!
4. This cat who totally thinks he’s George Clooney!
5. This cat who is checking his bank balance on an ATM and then smiling at the result!
6. This cat who is running for and successfully winning the Mayorship of a small Nebraska town!
7. This cat who taking a bite of a burger at a fancy gastropub, complaining it is under cooked, and getting it removed from his bill!
8. This cat who’s solving the equation ([{15x^(7/2)y – e^(x)} * 7.6e] + [38/5]e)*e(x^2+[3/2y^3]) and explaining his reasoning to a group of young scientists!
9. This cat wearing a business suit, drinking a scotch, smoking a cigar, and reflecting on his long career in finance!
10. This cat preparing a duck to be roasted and substituting a mixture of cumin and cinnamon for a result that is unconventional but nonetheless tasty!
11. This cat who totally thinks he’s an officer in the French military circa 1501!
Wooties: Some Motivation Required
The One Million Years B.C. Diet
Woot Shirt, Some Motivation Required
1st place in Derby #83: Exercise, with 1445 votes!
With nary a Pilates class on the entire planet, how did our cave-bound ancestors develop the well-defined pecs and abs we see in textbook illustrations today? Of course, it wasn’t running from dinosaurs. The archaeological record suggests that early humans were bred as pack animals by the Vorgoxxii, a race of alien silicon miners from a planet beyond the stars. They only looked like dinosaurs.
Wear this shirt: so people know why you’re not exercising: lack of large predators in your area.
Don’t wear this shirt: under the assumption that it in any way refers to the novel or film known as Jurassic Park or any sequels or other works deriving therefrom, without express written consent of all parties with a valid claim to any portion or aspect of said intellectual property.
This shirt tells the world: “The real monster I’m running from is Little Debbie.”
We call this color: Tyrannosaurus Blax.
Wooties: Boba Fetch
Bringing new meaning to the term “hunting dog.”
Woot Shirt, Boba Fetch
2nd place in Derby #213: Dog Days, with 823 votes!
You ever watch Dog, a Bounty Hunter? No, not Dog the Bounty Hunter. Dog, a Bounty Hunter. It’s pretty similar to Dog the Bounty Hunter except instead of being about a big guy with tons of blond hair, it’s about an actual dog. And instead of going after people, he’s going after inanimate objects.
Oh man, there was this great one where Dog goes after a stick that posted bail after a hit-and-run but won’t show up for any of his court dates. So Dog has to go talk to the stick’s mom, a tree, and it’s totally obvious that she knows where the stick is but won’t tell. In the end Dog finds the stick hiding out in a pile of leaves, though, and buries him alive while the tree watches in terror. It’s pretty intense!
But my favorite episode was probably the one about the tennis ball. So the tennis ball totally stole its brother-in-law’s Camaro and so Dog hunts him down and brings him to the authorities (his owner). But for some reason whenever you think they’ve got things under control, the ball flies out of his owners hand and across the lawn, and Dog needs to go get it again and bring it back. It’s a total thrill ride!
When’s it on? Usually 9pm, you know, because of the adult content. But it’s actually filmed in and around my neighbor’s backyard. You should come over! I can totally get us passes so that we can go around with the crew!
Wear this shirt: When you’re out cruisin’ in your El Kamino.
Don’t wear this shirt: if you think Star Wars references are a load of [Jeremy] Bullochs.
This shirt tells the world: “Boba Fett is my favorite fictional bounty hunter, and there’s not a doggone thing you can do about it!”
We call this color: blue that has given in to its dark side, or navy.
Wooties: Taste Some Freedom
Just Once…
Woot Shirt, Taste Some Freedom
4th Place in Derby #307: Red, White, and Blue , with 190 votes!
The debate around the Second Amendment is complicated and fraught with controversy, but we would like to suggest an amendment to that amendment that we believe should be universally applauded:
Every citizen have the right to shoot a bazooka once and only once in his or her lifetime.
We’re not saying that bazookas should be legal to own, but that everybody gets one free, non-criminal shot with a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher. Just one.
Of course, most folks will probably use their shot around age 12, when the appeal of the bazooka is at its apex. But cooler heads will hold off until they really need to blow the crap out of something — like while being attacked by a bear or communists. Or a communist bear.
You might be thinking, “But I don’t even want to fire a bazooka.” Yes you do. You clearly haven’t thought about this enough; it’s a freakin’ bazooka. Imagine the sound it will make. THUMP. And then it will be all ZZZZZZEEEEEEOOOOOO. And then it will hit something and be like BOOOOOOOOM. Noodle on it, and we think you’ll come around to our agenda.
Wooties: The Answer is Science!
Let Down
Woot Shirt, The Answer is Science
Oh science, why you gotta get me so excited like that?
Science doesn’t just say “We want the pig to fly”; it says, “We want the pig to TEACH ITSELF how to fly.” And science doesn’t just say, “Let’s make the peanut butter smoother; it says, “Let’s make the peanut butter that yearns to be smooth, so that it’s smoothness will be the source of great pride and thus taste even creamier.”
Science says, “Let’s make toilet paper that you can talk to,” and science says, “What if volcanoes erupted chocolate instead of lava?” and science says, “we should totally make it so that clouds spell out positive things about the people who look up at them.”
And then science does something boring like publishing a paper about the weather. My point: science is such a tease.